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Happy Birthday Diva

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Happy Birthday Diva
January 02, 2019 Grandfather 1 comment

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Happy Birthday Diva Kim!

Diva Kim has another year of kicking ass in the books, folks!

The Divas are currently taking Italy by storm in ways that only true Divas can, but here at Diva HQ we are holding down the fort and throwing around birthday confetti in her absence. Which means we are working the deals, hammering the phone, pounding the pavement, wrangling whomever needs wrangling and knocking out blogs like nobody’s business.

As y’all know, Kim was the original Diva. She worked it like a Diva while some of us were still in short pants. And the thing we love and strive to emulate here in Divaland—even when our Kim, the Queen Mother of Divas, isn’t here—is how much she cares for her clients, her Diva Dwellers, her Team, her Framily and her Diva Dogs. If you are one of the lucky to be part of this Divaland community, you know just how hard this gal will work for you.

Kim—we count ourselves lucky to have learned from you! You tell it like it is, know how to work hard, play hard, and when to throw up your hands and have a good laugh. Thanks for never giving up, for always hustling, and for that extra special dusting of sassy Diva-care that makes this Team unique in the biz.

Check out Happy Birthday Diva by Birthday Song Crew on Amazon Music. Stream ad-free or purchase CD's and MP3s now on calvacgroup.com

Happy Birthday Diva T-Shirts

Happy Birthday Diva

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    Happy Birthday Diva!

    Happy Birthday Diva

    There’s always one in every group. The girl who thinks she’s sooooo low-key and all about her birthday, but is really a super demanding wacked-out full-on Birthday Diva. Seriously, we’re surprised there isn’t a TLC special series called “Birthday-zillas” where seemingly normal girls also happen to obsess over things like a-line party dresses and the different cupcakes they will eat on one day only.

    The Birthday Diva believes that her day of birth should be celebrated for an entire week, not just one day. The wall-posts and party inquiries begin way ahead of time, and the chatter doesn’t die down until the last picture has been uploaded two Sundays later. Don't forget the dreaded but mandatory birthday dinner that will leave you hungrier and poorer than when you first sat down!

    This girl still does not understand or internalize the Cardinal Rule of successfully celebrating your birthday, despite our -- the friends and victims of the Birthday Diva's stress (more on this later) – multiple attempts to warn her. Learn this now and you will spare yourself a lifetime of embarrassing Lindsay Lohan affairs and party-crashers worse than Kanye West on Taylor Swift’s MTV awards speech.

    The Cardinal Rule of Birthday Celebrating: The more you over-think it, the worse it’s going to be. Your happiness at the party is inversely proportional to your stress levels beforehand.

    Birthday Divas: You know who you are. And we’re on to you. This year, you’re not getting away so easily!

    Here’s the breakdown of a Birthday Diva’s divaliciousness.

    ***Note: For all intents and purposes, we are assuming the Birthday Diva’s birthday is in August. If this is difficult for you, well it was even more difficult for us without it.

    September to January

    It’s still a long time before the big day. With distance also comes the ability for the Birthday Diva (can we start calling her BD from now on?) to laugh at herself and casually admit-but-not-commit (aka acknowledge her flaw, but not take ownership) to being a huge pain in the ass around her birthday.

    So we are able to call out the BD (Birthday Diva) on her brat behavior, but don’t expect her to change anytime soon. Just because she barely confesses to being a Birthday Diva doesn’t mean she won’t flip faster than Naomi Campbell when they get the colors on her cake wrong.

    February: Half-Birthday!

    The BD claims she didn’t even notice the date, but then why are you receiving angry text messages about not calling her on her half-birthday? What does that even mean!?

    March

    The BD starts dropping small but significant hints at her birthday…not that she’s thought about it or anything. She casually asks your thoughts on the pros and cons of having a big blowout bash versus a chill happy hour. She wants to know your stance on a couple of locations and implores you to rank them based on how easy it is to get through the bouncer…just asking.

    Don’t be fooled – her questions are really loaded. She’s asking you because she wants to get a sense of what she should do for her big day (which, reminder is still MONTHS away!). The BD is slowly reeling you in, tying you down and ensuring your presence at her feet.

    April: The Slow Change

    The Birthday Diva suddenly changes her eating habits and begins working out a lot more in preparation for her big day. She keeps a quiet tally of all the other birthday parties she’s attending to use as ammo for when people try and back out of hers. In the "Hunger Games" of birthdays, no one is spared.

    May (Or What Is Now Known As ‘Three Months Before My Birthday’)

    The Birthday Diva still holds a grudge from last year that you didn’t call her at midnight or at least send a follow-up “your bday was ja'maze” text. She not-so-passively-aggressively reminds you that this year she expects an Instagram collage and Facebook wall-post on top of a Twitter shout-out. Seriously? Throw us a frickin’ bone here! You silently curse social media for holding us to impossible standards to go above and beyond for the birthday girl.

    June/July: Official Countdown Officially Begins

    Every time you and the BD go shopping, each item is one that she is reserving for her birthday. She already has a vision for how she wants to look and who she wants to make-out with. Her dress will obviously be nicer than everyone else’s, but you assure her that she can get away with it because she’s the Birthday Girl and it’s her party and she can do what she wants to. So there!

    August: The Facebook Invitation

    Your friend has literally become a different person. All she can talk about is her birthday, the dress... and her birthday. Now that the big day is coming, she needs to send out the crucial Facebook invitation.

    The Facebook invite has many components, so be prepared for the Birthday Diva to demand your wit and your proofreading expertise at the most inopportune moments (like on G-chat while your boss is looking over your shoulder).

    The invite has to be funny enough so that people pay attention, but not too funny that it looks like the birthday girl is trying. The Birthday Diva will definitely ask you to be an Admin and to invite half the people on her guest list. And, don’t get offended if no one responds that they are coming – in the Facebook world, the more people who don’t RSVP, the more guests you’ll have attending the party.

    The Night Before

    Clearly you and the Birthday Diva are going out tonight, even though her actual birthday is not until tomorrow. Forgetting to celebrate at midnight got you in trouble once and the wrath of the Birthday Diva was so scarring, you won’t miss out this time.

    You and your besties decide to get the Birthday Diva super, super drunk so she doesn’t realize everyone’s been over this night since she started talking about it three months ago.

    The Day Of

    The Birthday Diva is in full-blown ape sh*t mode. She’s preparing more for this day than she did the time she threw a “CEOs and Boardroom Hoes” party for her sorority junior year.

    Even though you want to stay away from her, the Birthday Diva unloads all of her edgy stress load on to you. She’s mean and she’s bossy, but the worst part is you can’t say anything about it because it’s technically “Her Birthday” and that goes against Girl Code. Yeah, we said it. The Holy Grail of a woman’s friendship and if you defy it, you’re out. So suck it up for another 24 hours until the Birthday Diva passes out with her stupid light-up crown still on.

    The Big Event

    The pregame is off to a good start until it’s thirty minutes past the start time and no one has shown up yet (duh betch, when the invitation calls for 10:30, it’s customary to show up at 11). The Birthday Diva starts tweaking because she has to be at her promoter sponsored birthday before 12:30 or the line will be so horrendous and no one will get in (which is always the worst possible thing EVER!).

    The minute something goes wrong, the BD gets hysterical, but it’s your job as her best friend to help her fix it (hey, at least you didn’t end up as her sister or anything!).

    The Party

    Since you practically invited everyone you’ve hooked up with since high school, not everyone can past the door. No worries, the Birthday Diva is finally off your hands, bum rushing the door to get all her posse in and then sobbing in a corner for someone else to deal with! So. Much. B-day. Dramz.

    She can be easily spotted because she’s the only one whose hair is professionally done for the occasion. She’s also always holding a large bottle of alcohol and drunk wandering alone. Hallelujah! For once it’s not us!

    The Aftermath

    The party was a huge success to everyone but the Birthday Diva who is currently nursing a wicked hangover and a bad case of Drunk Anxiety. If you’re her immediate friend, you probably have to go to her birthday brunch and listen to the whole replay again while reassuring her that vomiting outside the club and on to her man is soooooooo not a big deal (it kind of is…).

    She’s ruined her dress and can’t find her debit card or some of the gifts she received, but the night was totally worth it. When pictures start surfacing, the Birthday Diva is pleasantly satisfied by how happy she looks in all of the photos blowing out the birthday candles. #BirthdayBitch

    Until next year…

    When it’s her big 2-5 and that means: VEGAS!

    Top photo courtesy of Visualize Us

    Cardstore makes it easy to personalize and mail happy birthday cards like Birthday Diva card. Just add your own photos, text and a signature to a simply stated.

    happy birthday diva

    Happy Birthday Diva

    L'L DIVA WISH'S BIG DIVA HAPPY BIRTHDAY

    divasoapfan#1

    happy birthday Mommy (may 15th)
    luv you l’l diva

    MomofSydBlake#2

    Happy happy birthday!! I hope you have a wonderful day!

    clicquot1#3

    Happy Birthday to the QUEEN of all Y&R spoilers! Hope you have a gggggggreat day with friends and family! 3)

    Daisy_Jane#4

    H a P p Y B i R t H d A y !!!

    May your day be filled

    with love and happiness!

    FL_senior_fan#5

    HAPPY B’DAY Canadian poster friend! I hope you enjoy your day, doing whatever you choose (for me it would be restful).

    samgirl#6

    countryMomof4#7

    Happy Birthday diva and thank you for all that you do!!

    l’l diva, you’re a sweetie :))

    divasoapfan#8

    thank you all for the wonderful b-d wishes

    i am going to take a very long hot bubble bath with all my soaps and oil’s and candles…i love to lay in the tub…i have to put all my country tunes on the radio…

    Tierney#9

    Happy birthday! I hope you get absolutely spoiled today!

    Bella_Pop#10

    Ms_Opinion#11

    Hope your birthday is/was fantastic!

    divasoapfan#12

    Lil Diva & Diva have exciting news for you. We are able to do the live chat for Fri. 20th and Mon.23rd… :))

    swac2828#13

    Happy Birthday, Diva!!! I hope you have an AMAZING day!!

    Mo_in_Canada#14

    Happy Birthday Diva & happy chatting!

    abey#15

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIVA! ENJOY YOUR SPECIAL DAY!

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    Happy Birthday Diva
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